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After five years of looking for relationships on dating apps, she began using them only for hook-ups a year ago. Yet, Cherry, like many sexually liberated women on dating apps, is reluctant to engage confidently with the very hook-up culture these apps are supposed to enable.

Otherwise guys get cocky. Nonetheless, most popular matchmaking apps are designed based on the context that cis-het white people tend to occupy, which is removed from Indian settings and their idiosyncrasies.

And while there is not much data available on the subject, women in India have reported t hat they were sexually assaulted or had their consent violated on Tinder dates.

Almost all the women HuffPost India spoke to said they preferred to talk to their matches for a few days before setting up dates, or even opening up about what they were looking for.

Out of nowhere. In the middle of a workday! She was in an open relationship at the time, and frank about what she was looking for on her bio.

As is true for much of the online world, dating or matchmaking apps Anthony prefers to call them the latter have become grey, private-public spaces that young people of all genders and sexual orientations are using to curate themselves to be in ways they cannot in offline life.

Yet, it is hard for most women to extricate themselves from the conditioning and constrictions of their lived realities.

Women have to withstand a tremendous amount of disrespect in India, whether it is on the streets or in the sheets, on a daily basis. That alone is enough to deter them from enjoying being in public, leave alone celebrating their sexuality.

If he's kind of annoying--BUT you have sexual fantasies about him nonetheless--that person would be a good candidate for a casual-sex partner.

He himself will be a constant reminder about why the relationship could never work out. The minute he opens his mouth, the reason will be clear.

How to do this? Don't go out for dinner with the person, or for drinks. Do away with all the trappings of a romantic relationship. Give your sexual partner a small window of time during which you will be available--say, during your lunch break, or late-night on Friday--and use that time for sex, and sex only.

Don't sleep over, and don't let him sleep over either. You are not special to the person who are shagging, and he is not special to you.

The two of you do not have some huge personal connection. What you're doing is not related to "happily ever after.

It's simply about sex, purely a physical release, and there's no real future in it. If you're tied to the headboard, or he's wearing a dog collar, the act itself will be a reminder that what you're doing isn't "making love" but having crazy sex.

Just because you're only having casual sex, that doesn't mean the dude can treat you badly. He should arrive when he says he's going to; he should respond promptly to your communications; he shouldbe working to hold on to the awesome gig you've given him, as your part-time temporary lover.

In fact, feel free to make certain demands of him. Perhaps what you want is for him to bring over Thai take-out every time he visits; maybe it's lattes; possibly you want him to rip you a copy of whatever new album he has recently downloaded.

Whatever the case may be, remember: He is SOO lucky that he gets to have no-strings-attached sex with you. Remember that the true goal is to have an intense personal connection with someone--and to let the great sex follow from that.

But if you haven't found the right person yet, why not enjoy sex while you keep looking? My conversation with Jack ended--of course--with us joking around about how WE should have casual sex.

Ha, ha, ha. But as much as I think Jack's suggestions are brilliant--and will probably work for lots of other people--I still don't think I can do it!

I don't think I can have casual sex. You're back! I was wondering where you'd gone off to, in fact. Absolutely Kay, I think you make a good point about when settling is really settling--and Raye, I dig your line about leading with your instincts and positive emotions, not insecurities.

In fact, I would like for you to embroider that on a pillow and send it to me so I can keep it under my head every night in the hopes it might sink in!

All the same, I might ultimately be with Natti: It just didn't feel right, romantically. Although, also: Jenny Powers? That was one helluva smart observation you made.

Um, what do you do for a living? Want to become my shrink?

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